i hate having borderline personality disorder. it’s total bullshit! how come i get treated like shit while growing up that i now would now end up with a skewed view on friendships and relationships, as well as insane mood swings?! and don’t even get me started on how it is WITHOUT medication.
on a previous post, i mentioned that one of my bad habits was not taking them regularly. well, it finally caught up to me today. over something stupid, i completely lost my shit. i ended up tearing up room, crying my eyes out, then ended up fixing everything before passing out. thankfully i was home alone when my breakdown happened but good lord i felt embarrassed of myself. i know i shouldn’t be and that these things happen, but.. ugh.
in the end of it, i ended up watching a few hours of tv before feeling grounded again. i hope i don’t fall into a state of mania soon because that is the LAST thing i need. i’m fine with being in the middle state of it, ie between that and depression because at least from then one (and when i’m aware of my mood) i can gage on how my mood will be in the future..
but, no, this time i just had to split.
stupid brain.
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